Holding my peace

My spiritual ministry practice this week was going to be a day of silence. That did not work out so well as I had planned, so much of what I do requires me to communicate verbally. So I decided that as I served for the free community meal I would not get into any arguments with my family. I would allow everyone to serve in their area of expertise without interference from me. I almost was not successful because of my mother law counting the sacks. I had tried to explain to her  there was no need to count the number of sacks because I planned out exactly 100. I purchased exactly 100 bags of chips and 100 sweet treats to go into the sacks, we would clearly know when we were at 100 by when those items were gone.

Well that was not what she was trying to do, she was trying to count how many brown paper sacks could fit into the carrying boxes. So it was not her goal to get to 100, it was her goal to see how many she could fit into the boxes for delivery.  

What did I learn from this? Many of our disagreements stem from us not listening to one another. Both of us are so sure we're right that we don't take time to listen to one another. I think that this has become more apparent since she moved in with us. Its hard to have 2 grown women with strong personalities under one roof, with a male that loves us both caught in the middle. On my part I can do my best to live at peace with her. I can take more time to listen to what she is saying, instead of how she is saying it. I can take a deep breath and not get emotionally charged every time we have an exchange. Though I didn't get to spend my day in silence, I did learn that I need to be silent at times. I'd say that's a lesson that couldn't have been learned if I was in total silence as I had intended. 

Beyond what I see

How do I have faith, when I cannot see the end

When what I see is blurry and I don't know who to depend

Life is filled with uncertainty, life is filled with what ifs

And yet I get up each morning, willing to take the stiffs

The stiff climbs and low valleys, long streets and dark alleys

I grab my bible, reach for a prayer and rally

Just functioning outside the box, running from the old way

And yet I get up each morning, to kiss a brand new day

How do you have faith, when you cannot see the end

Test after test, medical is not my friend

So I depart from what I can see, its blurry anyway

When I get up each morning, thanking God and say

Whatever you will, let it be done

I hope to see, but I will not run

I have faith, that you'll take care of me

Even If when tomorrow comes I cannot see

I cannot see tomorrow, just as I couldn't see today

When I get up each morning, I'll thank God anyway

I don't know if it is a test of faith that I am walking in right now. 

The only thing I know for sure is I'll praise God anyhow. 

I'll praise him in the blurry sight, I'll praise him if I have none. 

I'll praise him always, until the setting of my sun

Don't Move

When you know who wins. Is it easier to Stand still? It began in Genesis and ends in Revelations. Do you know who wins? We win, so stand still. When God says move, you move. When God says Go, you go. I can hear my savior calling and as he moves me into position, why is he moving others too. I imagine it is because He is All-Knowing and all loving Father.  He is not a singular moving God, when He moves into action there are millions, trillions of moving parts. I won't get in the way of your Work.  I am a vessel you may use how you see fit.

What I love about my relationship with Him is how He speaks to me. When I am connected, I hear his voice so clearly. I hear Him now, calling me and He's moving me into position for Him. It is my prayer that as He purges things, people and places from my life that He fill those spaces ever so perfectly, ever so lovingly with His passion and purpose for Service.

I didn't understand or have any clue a few weeks back when Pastor was preaching and he read a passage about Mary saying," Behold, I am a servant of the Lord, let it be to me as you have said."  These words are found in Luke 1:38. I see now all too clearly, I feel it in my spirit. Lord, May it be to me according to your Word that You have said. Not as how a man might see me, NOT how women might see me, NOT how the World might see me. Lord MAY IT BE as YOU Have SAID.  Entering into a season of intercession for His church. IF I am found Faithful, He will answer. IF I am found lukewarm, inconsistent, asleep, He will answer. Lord, Find us Faithful in the things of Christ. Let every good and perfect gift come from You as You have declared. James 1:17

I declare healing over my mind, I declare healing over a hurting spirit. I declare and decree Freedom in this space.
Thank you, God, for trusting me enough to speak to me. The change I want to see must first begin in Me. I surrender Lord.

Off the Grid

 

 

So I have been missing in action a good three years on my writing. When I get down to

thinking about it in years, days and months, I can't believe I stopped.

I have missed having this type of conversational outlet.

 

I will start with an update overview of what happened to cause me to fall off the grid with my writing. It all started with the car accident that I was in February of 2011.  The car accident was the beginning of the end for several things in my life. I lost my writing and I lost my couponing. I just didn't have the physical ability to keep either one going. During 2012-2015 I was faced with some bone issues (Paget's Disease) that would lead me from seeing the top experts in their field in my location, then needing to travel to Rochester MN to the Mayo Clinic. Much like everyone else in the world I also experienced loss, loss of mobility and restrictions with my right hand and loss of family members that went on to Glory. My ministry expanded (I am a preacher) and I have been able to preach outside of my congregation these past years, which has really broadened my horizons.

 

Should you have any interest in learning more about my journey these years off the grid just leave a comment and I am sure I can revisit it.

 

Some people that live off the grid are not connected to the world at all. I was off the grid only in a couple areas, thank the Lord. I could not imagine going completely off the grid.

 

Todays topic we will look at Jonah or more specific Tarshish type living. You can read about Jonah in the book of Jonah. He received a Command, his life had purpose and meaning, he went the opposite direction that God told him to go. Once you know specifically what you are called to do in this world, you would think that it is quite clear how to proceed. This is not the case for many people. Knowing what you are called to do is only one piece of the puzzle.  It goes much deeper than that.  Acceptance of the calling, how to move forward and resources are some of the other key pieces that are necessary. It only complicates matters if you are not accepting the call on your life and you fall into Tarshish type living. Jonah went to Tarshish premeditated and determined not to go where he was called. Tarshish type living means that you are digging a ditch or more accurately you're in the middle of a storm on a sinking ship. Why do we waste time in Tarshish only to detour off the path? Is it a lack of confidence in our ability, or are we like Eve questioning did He really tell me to go to Nineveh?  Are we just that stubborn, hard headed and disobedient? Living outside the lines in Tarshish, outside the Will of God, leaves us empty and sitting in the belly of a fish wondering or better yet reviewing how did I get myself into this predicament.  How do I get myself out? Jonah experienced disobedience and anger. Jonah's Tarshish living was used by God to teach Jonah the preacher to be humble, to not be judgmental and to do What thus saith the Lord.

 

I don't know about you, but I do know that I don't want to live in Tarshish. We put ourselves at such great risk living outside the lines. God uses our living inside and outside the lines for his Glory. He teaches us and matures us through our fallible choices.

A peaceful dwelling place

My Father provides for me a peaceful dwelling place.  A place of rest, comfort and peace from my journey.

The 23rd Psalm is used many times in reference to those that have a Going home ceremony.  I would like to use its comfort for my day.

The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
He leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His name' sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil: For thou art with me;
Thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;
Thou annointest my head with oil; My cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the House of the Lord forever.

When I think about the green pastures, the still water what joy and peace I find. The comfort in knowing that no matter the cause that my Lord restores my soul.

It has been a year since I have picked up my keyboard to write on this blog.  A lot has happened in the year.  I had great anxiety last time and had to look to the Word for answers.  I was in a car accident on that journey I took last year.  And that accident has lead me to the peaceful dwelling of the Father.  I remain amongst the living and I seek to do the will of the Father.

So to today, to yesterday and tomorrow I say: Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

A great anxiety

Another day has come and gone, come and gone.  I am having great anxiety about whether or not I will survive travel food this weekend.  I am thinking that it is something I must plan for, if I fail to plan, I will fail at eating this weekend.  My Family in Q-city is known for Big family gatherings with lots of food choices.  This time will be no different, actually worse because it is a funeral.  People will be bringing food.  Lucky me!  My plan is to take my 100 calorie snacks with me, I am hoping that my father will be making my turkey bacon as usual, just need to let him know about the egg white.  Otherwise I will be hitting the Vee, Hy-Vee that is to get much needed items.  If I cannot figure out any healthy food choices I will be hitting the Vee for sure to get an awesome salad from the bar.  I know that Wendy's has 500 calorie meals.  I will also search in Q-City to see what other restaurants we have in common with Como, this will help me know what to eat.  So planning ahead will make this stay a lot better.  I am still unsure of where I am actually staying, but I feel confident as to where I will not be staying, so that helps some.   My other issue is that this is the first trip home without my hubby.  It has been ages, I mean ages since I have traveled down that road alone.

Anxiety... I think that will be the word for the day.  Anxiety is-feeling of worry: nervousness or agitation, often about something that is going to happen. 

So what is our answer to this anxiety other then being prepared?  Lets take it to the Word and see. 
We see in Matthew 6:25-34 ESV

“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

It also tells me in: Philippians 4:6 ESV


Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything

And one more scripture just in case I am not there yet would be:
Philippians 4:13 ESV


I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

Okay, I have my plan, I know the word and I am armed and ready for my journey.  Thank you Lord.

Never Lose Your Motivation

So you see I am 9 days into my healthy living, self-control lifestyle.  And already I haven't been held accountable or posted until now.  What is the hold up?  Am I not doing this new thing wholeheartedly? No I am not.  I weighed in today at the dietician and gained 3 pounds, which is only a 1 pound difference from when I weighed in at church on January 29th, but an actual 3 pound difference since last visit.  Either way it goes I must move more and portion control.  I must change in my mind that I am actually missing out on something.  I can't be discouraged. So the word or thought for the day is to Never Lose Your Motivation.  No matter what you are doing new, focus on the motivation, not on the valleys and the mountains.  So I, in exercing self-control, will stop having such a lazy spirit in this area.  I will stop surrendering and giving in to that "Lazy Spirit".  A lazy spirit can filter its way into so many areas of life if we let it.  We can make excuses for why we don't do something.  But now I am accountable for my actions, for the way I look and how I operate.  As I said there will be setbacks, hiccups and road blocks. My hubby is a road block he has tried to influence me to stay in the condition that I am. Never Lose Your Motivation, not for fellowship dinners at church, not for special occasions and surely not for a loved one.  Keep focused on your goal, post it on the refrigerator, dig out that picture of yourself when you was a healthy size, make a collague of places you want to take the new you. I plan to lose this extra pound to 3 pounds before Sundays weigh down weigh in.

The Message for today is Never Lose Your Motivation